By the time you're reading this Sunday evening, if everything goes according to plan, I'll be back home in Texas after two weeks in the Netherlands.

And I already know what I'm going to be ridiculously excited about.

My own bed, my own coffee, my kitchen, my walks, our kids, our dog, my washer/dryer. And honestly, just NOT living in a hotel room. 😂

Last week I wrote about how good it’s been for me to get out of my routines for a while. Craig has worked for a Dutch company for more than 25 years, and this was the first time I finally said yes to coming along on one of his trips. I've worked from our hotel room, wandered around Eindhoven by myself, walked approximately one million miles, investigated Dutch grocery stores like it was my actual job and generally given my brain a whole lot of new things to look at and do. We’ve taken side quests to Germany and Belgium. 

It’s been so good for me. And now?

I'm desperately craving my routines again. Of course!

Which might sound a little contradictory after I just spent an entire letter telling you how good it is to get out of them, but I actually think that's the point.

I'm realizing I need both.

I need the things that interrupt my routines and remind me there's a whole world outside the little grooves I've created for myself. And I so badly need those grooves to come home to.

I've spent years figuring out all of the rhythms that make me feel good, like working out, cooking my own food, writing, walking outside, sitting on my porch, knowing where everything is in the grocery store. You know, having some structure to my days. I’ve realized that those routines aren't something I need to escape from, but they're actually part of what grounds me.

I just don't want to become so attached to them that I stop saying yes to the things that mix them up once in a while!

I think that the goal isn't choosing between comfort and novelty, it's having enough of both.

What have I stopped noticing?

There's something else that happens when I've been away for a while, I come home and suddenly see my own house differently.

Things I've walked past 500 times become visible again, the drawer that doesn't close right, the burned-out light bulb in the pantry. The pile of mail that's been sitting somewhere for so long it's basically become part of the counter. 😂

It reminded me of an exercise I used to teach years ago in a course I created called, appropriately enough, the  Rediscovering Me Challenge. Some of you who have been around here awhile may have even taken it.

We called them Tolerations.

And I want to be clear about what I mean by that, because this isn't an exercise in walking around your life nitpicking everything that's wrong with it. It’s actually the opposite.

Tolerations are the little things we've learned to live with that sneakily suck a tiny bit of our energy every time we encounter them - like little energy vampires…

The burned-out light bulb you notice every time you flip the switch. The lumpy pillow you complain about every night (and wake up not being able to turn your neck). The razor that’s 3 months past its ability to shave properly. The bag of clothes in your trunk you’ve meant to drop off at the donation center. The dentist appointment that’s a year past due.The things sitting beside the door you've been meaning to return (guilty as charged!).

None of these things is a REAL problem in the whole scheme of things, but that's exactly why we tolerate them.

And every time we notice one, there's that tiny mental ugh, I really need to take care of that.

Individually, they're nothing. But put them all together and they're little open loops from tiny energy vampires sucking up bandwidth we could be using for something else.

So every week of the Rediscovering Me Challenge, I'd ask everyone to try to find three Tolerations and take care of them. Ideally they were things that took less than five minutes to fix, although if somebody got inspired and wanted to clean out her junk drawer (or closet!), I certainly wasn't going to stop her. 😂

And here's the funny part.

Since starting this newsletter of the same name, several women have reached out and mentioned that original course all those years ago. More than one has told me it was one of the most life-changing things they did, which is about the nicest compliment I could possibly get all these years later.

One woman even told me that her now adult daughter still uses the word “toleration” when she notices one. ❤️

Apparently this little exercise stuck. So I thought we'd bring it back this week!

This Week's Breadcrumb 🌱

What are three things you're tolerating right now?

And no, we're not starting with your career, or spouse. 😂

Look around your actual life.

What's annoying you every time you come across it that would take less than five minutes to fix?

Something to return, a subscription to cancel, a drawer that needs five minutes of attention. The razor that needs to go, an appointment you've been meaning to make.

Find three. Then take care of them this week.

And bring your three into Community so we can hold each other accountable and, more importantly, steal ideas from each other! I guarantee somebody is going to post a Toleration and the rest of us are going to think, Oh geez, me too. 😂

SHARE YOUR THREE TOLERATIONS 🌱

Meanwhile, inside Community... ❤️

We're still a little group over there, which has actually made it really fun to start recognizing names and getting to know each other.

And I'm already seeing exactly what I hoped would happen.

One woman shared this week that something nobody prepared her for was parenting young adults and figuring out how to guide them without constantly offering advice. Another woman shared that she was proud of herself for barely checking her college kid's location this week.

And another member immediately responded:

“Relatable. It's so hard!”

That's the stuff I love.

Not because anyone has THE answer to parenting adult kids, but because there's something incredibly comforting about discovering another woman is trying to figure out the exact same thing you are.

Another member took last week's Breadcrumb about adding a little novelty to our lives and decided to start by simply walking her dog on a different route.

Nothing earth-shattering.

Just women sharing what they're figuring out and giving each other ideas along the way.

That's exactly what I wanted this space to be.

If you've been thinking about joining us, we're still very much at the beginning, and I'd love to have you in the room. Founding Membership expires this week though, it’s just $49 for your first year for three more days, through September 30, or you can join for $9/month anytime.

Come share your three Tolerations with us this week.

TELL US HERE ❤️

xo

Alison