I have a confession to make. One of my toxic traits is that I want to move pretty much everywhere I travel.

Seriously. Give me a charming walkable downtown, some big trees, a few beautiful old houses with character, and a decent coffee shop, and suddenly I'm mentally packing up our entire life and moving. 😂

Never mind that I have a perfectly lovely home in Texas that I'm very happy in. Apparently I'm just one tree-lined street away from opening Zillow.

And this past weekend in Minneapolis was no exception.

This was another  last-minute trip to join Craig while he was traveling for work. One of the things I've decided to do in this season of life is travel with him more often. It's something we didn't have much of a chance  to do while raising kids, and now that we have the flexibility, I want to take advantage of it.

Even if my first instinct when he asks if I want to come along is to think about everything I'll have to pack, rearrange, and get done before I leave. But one night at dinner, he made me a presentation on why I should come to Minnesota for the weekend, complete with fall foliage photos. How could I say no to that?

Minneapolis was absolutely worth the trip.

First of all, can we talk about the TREES?

I knew Minnesota would be beautiful in the fall, we took a drive up north along the St. Croix river and it was stunning.  But I wasn't prepared for just how gorgeous some of the neighborhoods in Minneapolis would be. We spent time exploring the areas around Lake Harriet and Lake of the Isles, and I swear every street looked like something out of a storybook.

Beautiful old homes with so much character, enormous trees arching over the streets, gardens and yards with giant hydrangea bushes. People out walking, biking, running, enjoying the lakes. It all felt so alive!

I’m a sucker for amazing architecture, oh the details on these houses!

I was in heaven.

We also found ourselves really enjoying the overall vibe of the city. We saw a Paris Couture exhibit at the Minneapolis Institute of Art. We ate at some great restaurants with plenty of healthy options. There were beautiful public spaces, and people out in the parks everywhere. Everyone we talked to was so kind and friendly, too. Minnesotans take care of each other and apparently they’re pretty nice to strangers too. 

I noticed something similar when we were in the Netherlands a few weeks ago. There's something about being in places where people seem relaxed, connected to their surroundings, and enjoying everyday life that makes me feel a little more relaxed myself.

Now, how much of that is the place itself and how much is simply being on vacation without my usual responsibilities? Hard to say. But I definitely notice the difference, and apparently my nervous system likes it too! 😂

Anyway, by approximately the third gorgeous neighborhood, I was pulling up Zillow on my phone. .

There's just one tiny problem.

WINTER!

I grew up in Pennsylvania and my senior year in college, while walking to class with icicles forming on my eyelashes, I solemnly swore to myself that I would never EVER voluntarily sign up for another long, cold winter.

And from everything I've heard about Minnesota winters, Pennsylvania has basically the tropical version. 😂

So as much as I loved Minneapolis, I think it's safe to say we won't be packing up and moving there anytime soon.

But here's the interesting thing. I don't feel disappointed by that.

Actually I'm starting to realize that these trips are teaching me something about what I want, even when the place itself isn't necessarily where we'll end up.

Collecting clues

A while back, I wrote an essay about home and what it means to us at different stages of our lives. It really resonated with so many of you, and I think it's because home is about so much more than the house we live in. It's about the life happening inside it, the people, the routines, the memories, and the version of ourselves that lives there.

I still love our home in Texas and I don't feel like I've necessarily outgrown it or am ready to move on. 

But Craig and I are entering a different chapter, and we're getting curious about what that might look like.

Maybe we'll stay right where we are or maybe someday we'll decide to live somewhere completely different. We could even find a way to have a little of both.

The awesome thing is that we don't have to know yet. Every time we travel, I feel like we collect a few more clues.

Minneapolis reminded me how much I love homes with character and history - with mature trees and neighborhoods where people are outside enjoying their surroundings. A little more connection to nature and the changing seasons.

I'm also realizing that while I love having outdoor space, I don't necessarily need quite so much of it to take care of. A beautiful, manageable yard with flowers I can actually keep alive sounds pretty nice these days. 

I love places with a sense of community, where people seem to truly enjoy living there. Oh and I love sunshine, LOTS of sunshine. You could say that I’m solar powered!

Of course, wherever we eventually end up, there will be trade-offs because there always are. The perfect place probably doesn't exist, and even if it did, I'm sure I'd find something to complain about.

But I'm enjoying the process of figuring out what matters to us now. Not what mattered when we were raising three kids or what made sense when we needed to be close to schools and activities.

What matters to the two people we are today, and the two people we're becoming.

You don't have to feel it to do it

Here's something else I've been thinking about, I almost didn't go to Minneapolis.

Not because I didn't want to spend time with Craig or because I didn't think I'd enjoy it. I just didn't particularly feel like packing, getting on another airplane, sleeping in another hotel bed, and disrupting my comfortable little routine at home. Especially since I just got back into the swing of things after our trip to the Netherlands.

And yet, once I got there, I was SO glad I went.

Years ago, when I was blogging about style and teaching women about the psychology of getting dressed, I used to say something all the time:

You don't have to feel it to do it.

It was usually in response to women saying that they didn't feel motivated to get dressed when they weren't going anywhere. When I was stuck in my yoga pants rut and didn’t want to put on real clothes. I’d always whisper to myself “you don’t have to feel it to do it”. And the funny thing is that AFTER i got dressed, I felt it. My motivation, confidence, general outlook, all improved. 

I've realized that applies to SO much more than getting dressed.

Sometimes I don't feel like working out, but afterward I'm so glad I did. Sometimes I don't feel like leaving my comfortable little routine, but once I'm out doing something new, I remember how much I love it.

We spend so much time waiting to feel motivated, confident, adventurous, or ready.

But sometimes the feeling comes AFTER we take action. I think that's especially important when it comes to rediscovering ourselves.

This was actually something I taught in my original Rediscovering Me course years ago, too. You can't always sit around thinking about what you want the next chapter of your life to look like and expect the answers to magically appear.

Sometimes you have to experiment your way into it.

Try things, go places, meet people. See what feels right and what doesn't.

I think this becomes especially important at this stage of life, when so many of the things that kept us busy for years start to disappear..

We had built in novelty and new experiences for years. Our lives were filled with raising kids, building careers, managing households, and all the activities that came along with those things. We didn't necessarily have to go looking for new things to do because life brought plenty of them to us!

Then one day, poof, some of those things are gone.

We have more freedom than we've had in years, but we're not always sure what to do with it. I know firsthand just how easy it is to settle into comfortable routines that make our worlds a little smaller without us even realizing it.

Now listen, I love a comfortable routine. I'm practically a professional homebody. 😂

But I also know that if I wait until I feel like getting out of my comfort zone, I might be waiting a very long time.

Sometimes the doing has to come before the knowing.

Maybe that's what this chapter is about for Craig and me. We don't need to know where we're going to end up. We don't even need to know whether we'll ever move at all.

But we do need to keep getting out there and experiencing life. I'm realizing that I don't have to figure out the next chapter before I can start enjoying it.

Maybe this IS the next chapter for a while.

Traveling together, exploring new places, noticing what we love. Coming home to a life we're perfectly happy with AND staying open to whatever might come next.

I don't know where we'll eventually land, and for once, I'm actually okay with that.

Although somebody might want to delete Zillow off my phone!

This Week's Breadcrumb 🌱

I've been thinking about how many good experiences I've had that almost didn't happen because I wasn’t really feeling it. .

It's made me wonder how often we talk ourselves out of things before we ever give them a chance.

So this week, I want to hear your stories.

What's something you almost didn't do, but were SO glad you did?

Maybe you almost canceled plans with a friend but ended up having the best time or reluctantly signed up for a class and discovered something you loved. Maybe you took a trip, tried a new hobby, or finally worked up the courage to do something outside your comfort zone.

It doesn't have to be big or life-changing. Sometimes the smallest things surprise us the most!

P.S. I almost didn't go on a blind date with Craig back in 1992. And 34 years later, I still thank myself for that decision. 😂❤️

Come share your story in Community! I have a feeling we're going to hear some good ones, and maybe they'll inspire a few of us to say YES to something we've been putting off.

SHARE YOUR BREADCRUMB IN COMMUNITY 🌱

xo

Alison

In Community This Week

Wanting a few close friendships can be simple to name and much harder to know how to begin. Inside Community, one woman is considering interest-based gatherings as a way to meet people, and another said maintaining friendship takes intentional time together. Women encouraged one another without pretending there was one right approach.

That sits naturally beside last week's Breadcrumb about loosening our grip. One woman stopped logging everyday routines, while someone hesitant to try sourdough heard she could begin with an established starter. Maybe we don't need the whole plan before we make a little room for something we want.

The Rediscovering Me Community is private, intentionally hosted and just for us. These Sunday letters will always remain free.

Pull up a chair. I'll meet you inside. ❤️

COME JOIN US IN COMMUNITY ❤️